Wednesday, March 18, 2009

What's the Buzz Tell Me What's A-Happenin' American Idol


It's RESULTS SHOW TIME!!  We're promised that we MIGHT be shocked and that it's going to be a jam-packed hour.  Seacrest, you know I hate it when you lie to me!  To quote Paula "straight up now tell me" the truth, Ryan.  Wow Seacrest is laying on the tension like Betty Crocker frosting.

Recap Montage-we're reminded of Anoop's awesomeness, the fact that Matt can play the crap out of the piano, that Kris is a great singer (as well as adorable and tender) and all the other boring things that happened last night.

OOOHHH it's time for group dance!! They've made Scott sit at the piano so he doesn't have to do any tricky dancing, which I think is the safest bet out of this whole week.  I can't believe they're singing T-R-O-U-B-L-E.  That was frightening.  I think they need to have a lip-sync mentor at some point, because this is getting severely out of control.

What the hell are the point of the "Exclusive Idol Moments"?!  Who cares about people that have already been voted off?!  I watched their auditions the first time and then I watched them get kicked off, why do I need to be reminded of them, unless it's just to say "remember how different this season COULD have been?"

I'll probably watch the Osbornes' show, I don't know why it looks entertaining, but it does.

OH it's time to pimp out the American auto industry with the FORD music video.  I'm really amazed that Ford is in need of a bailout with hot shot advertising like this.  

And now, maybe the worst thing ever, they're recapping what happens when a contestant leaves, this is super depressing and absolutely pointless.  Are we supposed to not vote someone off because we'll feel too bad sending them home?!  Oh god, that could have resulted in a Kristy Lee Cook Idol win...GROSS.  I love it when Jorge says "don't get too comfortable because we're not the only ones getting eliminated!"  TRUE DAT!  I hate Seacrest's interview skills.  

Oh and Megan Joy's made a miraculous recovery from her "flu".  Yes, Ryan, remind them of the summer tour, so that whoever gets kicked out will be SUPER BUMMED!

Danny Gokey is going on tour-was that a suprise to anyone?
Lil managed to get through again
Anoop's turn I'm still super nervous....and he's going on tour, so you now who's getting tickets right?!  Yeah that's right, ME!!

Paula gets flustered again (it's rough being the anti-drug poster child) and she still can't answer the question and WTF..ALLISON is in the Bottom 3?!?!  That makes no sense!  So is Michael Sarver, you're a mean one Mr. Seacrest.

It's time for Brad Paisley to get a paycheck.  I love Brad, but man, this song is so sappy my molars are hurting.  There are hundreds of women watching who just decided what their first dance at their wedding is going to be...and that makes me a little nauseous.  Sorry was that too cynical?  Because I was only going for slightly cynical.  

Alright, it's really time to get this moving, my attention span is dwindling.

Scott's up next Ryan is so mean to Scott he tells him to pack his bags...and Scott can't see that he's joking because HE'S BLIND RYAN

Oh SHITTERS Megan's going on tour....UGH!! That means I have to now use my bathroom break on Megan's horrendous crowing instead of Adam's Glam-Tablous song trifecta, because I'm pretty sure that Adam's staying.  He's staying and so is KRIS and MATT!!! duh people, I told you so.

It's down to Adam and Alexis and Alexis is on to the middle of the stage.  Allison is SAFE.  Thank goodness! So now, it's Michael and Alexis...what the hell is wrong with this country, why is MEGAN STILL HERE?!?!  I'd literally rather watch George W. Bush try to to join a drumline than watch this chick sing.  

And just to torture everyone a little more, there'll be another commercial break (or two) and a Carrie Underwood/Randy Travis performance, I Told You So.

Seriously, the Carrie Underwood Vitamin Water Miniature Horse Whisperer commercial was hysterical.

Wow and Alexis has been voted out, but she gets one last performance to try to sway the judges.  This is terrible, it looks like the cool kids are meeting to decide who to let into their cool club.  And I don't think Alexis sounds very good.  Alexis is going home.  I'm kind of surprised, not really surprised, because it was a pretty rough performance, but still Alexis is gone and MEGAN IS STILL HERE.  Think about that kids...I know it's GROSS!!

Well overall, I have to say at least my 3 guys got through!  I'm pretty excited about that, and like I said, every concert needs a bathroom break so that'll be Megan's role on this tour.  Until next Wednesday and MOTOWN NIGHT!!

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