Everything We Need: Chapter 4 - The Journal

The next morning, Rey prepared for a return visit to Maz. The rest, the best sleep she had in a while, in fact, had given her a renewed sense of purpose. There had to be something in one of those books on Maz’s shelves that could help her figure out how to bring Ben back. At this point, she would settle for something that would just let her find him. Anything that would allow her to tell him all the things she hadn’t been able to say. There just had to be...more.

She had just slung her staff over her shoulder and opened the door when she saw her standing there.

Leia, in a halo of blue, walking out of the forest towards Rey.

“Master, what are you doing here?”

“Ok, Rey, tell me what’s going on.”

“What do you mean?” Rey asked, full of innocence.

“You know what I mean, Rey,” she said, her tone cutting through the nonsense. Then a little softer, “in case you need reminding, when my side of things gets a bit boring, well, I eavesdrop. It’s a bad habit, I know, but I can’t help myself. Plus, it wasn’t difficult to tell that there was a disturbance in the Force yesterday and that it involved you.”

“What else did you sense, Master?” Rey asked, now trying to discern whether Leia was here because she suspected this disturbance was something that involved Rey, or Ben or both.

“Fine,” Leia said, “walk with me, we might as well talk this over while we’re getting somewhere.”

Leia continued, “I sensed you, emotionally all over the place. Unsettled, joyous, despairing, hopeful. The feelings I couldn’t make much sense of. But then I heard you say Ben’s name. And it was like your voice caused a ripple through the Force. A small reverberation. It was slight, and it was over quickly, but it was there.”

“Well, that’s about all I know about it too,” Rey said.

“What do you mean?”

“Yesterday, I thought I felt Ben reaching out to me,” Rey said, “I couldn’t be sure at first whether it was really him or whether it was just my imagination, wishing it was him. I went to Maz, I meditated with her, and somehow, I think I was pulled to the World Between Worlds. It still seems impossible.”

“Nothing is impossible, Rey,” Leia added quickly, “though even I will admit this seems highly...improbable,” she said, a look of concern spreading across her face, causing her brow to furrow.

"And yet, if it is Ben-” Leia trailed off.

“But how could any of this be true?” Rey asked, to fill the void of silence. “I thought you told me that he hadn’t completed any of this part of the Jedi training. You told me you hadn’t seen him, hadn’t been able to reach him. That he was just gone. So how could I find him? After all of these years?”

“Well, that’s all I knew up until now,” Leia said. “I didn’t want it to be true any more than you did! He’s my son, Rey. If there had been any other way, don’t you think I would have tried it? But I think what we’re all still finding out is that you, and him, well, your link is certainly unlike anything I’ve ever seen before.”

“Oh well, that’s perfect then!” Rey said sarcastically, throwing her arms in the air. “So no one knows where to even start.”

She was so tired of being her right now. Scavenger. Jedi. Dyad. What did any of it mean if no one was able to help her make any sense of it all?

“Rey, calm down. Just tell me what you’re going to do right now. You can’t be present now if you’re thinking only about seeing him in the future. And you know, if you're not present..”

"I know, I know, I'll make mistakes." Rey finished. She inhaled deeply and then started walking again. She hadn't even realized she had stopped.

“I’m going back to Maz. I have to read through the books again. There has to be something there. I’ll start by looking for anything about the World Between Worlds. And then I guess I’ll just see where that takes me.”

“That’s as good a place to start as any,” Leia gently nodded.

Rey stopped and looked at Leia.

“But what if there’s nothing? What if this was just a …a mistake? Or an accident? What if the way I’ve felt every day since he left…is the way I’ll always feel?”

Leia placed her hands on top of Rey’s. ”Then, at the very least, you know you’re strong enough to handle the life you’ve already made for yourself. It’s not about forgetting, Rey. It’s about how you keep going after loss, and you’ve done everything you can. And I’m so proud of you.”

Even though Rey had told herself that she wouldn’t cry today, she felt hot tears threatening to spill.

Leia removed her hands and looked Rey straight in the eyes, “But you can’t set out on this mission with those thoughts. You just have to start down the path, one step at a time, and follow where it goes. If you’re trying to anticipate an outcome you fear, you’ll miss something vital. Start. Discover. Do. Anything else is an exercise in fear and will only result in a half-hearted effort.”

“Master,” Rey said, looking at Leia again, “you’ve gotten really good at this, you know?”

Leia laughed. “Well, it took me long enough. Just imagine how good I’ll be when I really know what I’m doing!”

The two of them walked on a while longer, at peace in a more productive silence. When they finally approached the clearing that led to Maz’s castle, Leia stopped and looked at Rey.

“Rey, I just need to say this one thing before you go in there: You’ve already done everything you needed to do." Leia continued, after a short pause, the memories of Ben hanging in the air. "You saved him. I did what I could, but ultimately it was you. You who believed and hoped even after I thought all hope was lost. There is nothing that you will find in those books that can change that.”

Two days ago, Rey would have broken if Leia had said that to her. Two days ago, Rey was still crafting her life around a loneliness she couldn’t discuss with anyone.

But now, Rey looked at Leia calmly.

“Master, I am grateful for that. And you’re right, I did need to hear it. But Leia, what if you could see Ben again? If you were here, what would you be prepared to do…to bring him home?”

Leia looked at Rey as if she had finally been infected with the same determination that now emanated from Rey and simply said


Rey nodded. “Good, I’m glad we agree.”

Rey turned back towards the end of the path, and Leia smiled as she watched her go.

“May the Force be with you then, Rey.”

Rey paused for a moment, not looking back, knowing Leia would already have disappeared from her view. But she still felt her with her for a moment. When she could no longer feel her, she walked on towards Maz’s.

She went to Maz’s every day, re-reading each of the Jedi texts. Well, at least she skimmed through everything that she knew had nothing to do with the World Between Worlds. As soon as she found something she thought she could use, Rey would run excitedly to Maz, who would look at it carefully for several agonizing moments before slowly shaking her head. Then Rey would go back up to Maz’s room, reset and start again.

Sometimes the days were too long and her eyes were too tired and she'd decide to just stay in one of Maz’s rooms, though more than once Maz forced her to go back to the camp and have a proper rest.

Finally, after a month of this, Rey came downstairs with the last book. She thought she might have found something. It looked like another name for the World Between Worlds. This book called it the Vergence Scatter. Rey hadn’t seen that name referenced before, so maybe Maz would know if they were one and the same.

Wearily, Rey handed over the book and pointed out the passage to Maz. Rey waited for the inevitable disappointment. But, this time, it didn’t come. Maz was reading, and thinking, and rereading until she finally looked up at Rey and said, “Come with me.”

Maz led the way downstairs. The last time Rey had been down here, Anakin’s lightsaber had called out to her. It was still not a fond memory, the beginning of both the best and most terrifying time in her life, but she no longer rebelled against the recollection of it either.

As they walked towards one of the storage areas in the very back, Rey asked, “Maz, how DID you get all of this stuff?” genuinely curious, as if seeing everything for the first time.

Maz turned and looked up at Rey. Her face relaxed, and she just smiled and shrugged.

“When you’ve been around as long as I have, you tend to become a collector…of everything”.

“So too many stories for some other time?” Rey asked, smiling back to Maz.

“Precisely, my child.”

They stopped at last alcove on the left and opened up one of the chests inside.

Maz pulled out a book and some sort of…was it a compass?

“Not another book, Maz, please, I’m begging you!” Rey groaned. She felt like she hadn’t seen anything except words in years. Could she even remember what a tree looked like?!

“Well, I know precisely where to point you with this one,” she said, holding the book open to a page about a third of the way in. “And you’ll need this as well,” she said, handing Rey the small instrument.

“What is it?” Rey asked, turning it over in her hands.

“That’s what the book is for!” Maz said, laughing.

“Fine. I guess I should just be glad you had this and didn’t shake your head at me today.”

They both walked back upstairs. Maz walked over to the bar and handed Rey a plate and a cup.

“Please, Rey, eat something. I’m worried enough about you as it is”.

Feeling like she had gained some ground, at least for a moment, Rey sat and ate. By the time Rey walked her empty plate behind the bar, the afternoon crowd, and some who would surely make up the late-night crowd was settling in. Maz was already trying to break up a Trandoshan and a Wookiee who seemed ready to cause a ruckus the whole night. Rey was on the stairs when she caught Maz’s eye and tilted her head towards her study upstairs. Maz nodded, and Rey closed the door behind her, in need of quiet.

Rey’s finger still marked the page that Maz had pointed out, and she opened the book and sat down, crossing her legs beneath her and flopping the book on the floor. She hunched over the text, rolling the instrument around in her hands, anxious to get to the point.

On the page, next to a drawing of the thing she now held, was an entry.

The Vergence Scatter – I still haven’t found it myself, but I do have some ideas. Vader used to speak of his master having found it once. I don’t doubt him, but the notion of falling through a painting in a temple seems…well...questionable at best. But when I went to Lothal, among the ruins, I found this (here an arrow pointed to the drawing) and I’m bringing it home with me. No idea if I’ll ever figure out what it was for, but the etchings on it seem to indicate some sort of coordinates. Or maybe multiple coordinates. I noticed that the further away from the Jedi Temple ruins I got, the less responsive it was, so perhaps it does mean something. But I haven’t yet figured out how to “read” it, if such a thing is possible.” - C.L.A

Under the drawing, Rey read the words “Binoc Circuit.”

She flipped the pages on either side, hoping for more, but there was nothing on either the Binoc Circuit or the Vergence Scatter. Just more pages with drawings and short entries. It looked like some sort of diary or journal.

Rey placed a bookmark on the page and closed the book. She put the Binoc Circuit in her bag, along with the book and headed back downstairs. Hopefully, Maz would let her keep the book for a while. If not, she’d have to copy that page out.

She stopped at the bar as Maz was clearing a tray.

“Maz, do you mind if I keep this book?”

“Well, let’s call it borrow,” Maz said. “I’ll need it back at some point, but you need it more right now.”

She patted the cover of the book and looked at Rey. “You can bring it back to me when you’ve found who you need.”

Rey smiled. “Thank you, Maz…for everything.”

“I won’t see you for a while now, will I?” Maz asked, but the question wasn’t necessary, she knew it was true.

“Probably not, but I WILL be back,” Rey assured her.

Maz nodded, and Rey knelt down so she could hug her. Then with a smile, Maz simply tilted her head towards the door. “Now go, get out of here, child,” she said, shooing Rey out.

Rey walked through the crowded front, towards the door. As it was closing behind her, she could just make out Maz yelling a “Hey…Not in HERE!” in the direction of some fracas that threatened to break out.

But the door shut behind Rey, and she pulled the Binoc Circuit from her bag, turning it over in her hand, the motion already becoming a habit. She let the silence wash over her as she contemplated this new direction.


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