Hellboy 2- silver, bronze & the Golden Army

Alright, sorry about the title, but since we're all in an Olympic mood, Hellboy 2: the Golden Army should win 3 medals in 3 categories: bronze, silver, and gold and since we all love a countdown I'll start from lowest to highest.

Bronze: Hellboy 2 would get the Bronze medal for Worst Use of an Arrested Development alum. I'm sorry but Jeffrey Tambor is so so so so so much better than the twittering, selfish, bordering-on-idiot character in this film. He can't even be counted on as being snarky, just annoying. Also, there's a smoke man in a moon suit. It should get the bronze just for that.

Silver: Let's face it, Ron Perlman is awesome. I can't say the best superhero, but certainly the coolest of the summer, in my opinion. I mean in the prologue you're warned that this strange creature likes "candy and tv". Awesome! There are guns (named Big Baby), real babies (being saved, not to be confused with Big Baby) and drunken Barry Manilow serenades. Need more be said?

Finally, the Gold: awarded to Guillermo Del Toro (which literally means Guillermo of the Bull, I think, but then again, I was only a French Minor, not a Spanish Major) for once again, having an imagination that us mere mortals can only relate to when in a dreaming state. The visuals are absolutely stunning, and even though they feel slightly recycled (if you're a fan of Pan's Labyrinth), there's something refreshing about the fact that they're also tactile, no blatant abuse of CGI here. There's enough to keep the girls interested (a fantastic relationship between Liz & Red, even if it is somewhat curious, dare I ask SPOILER ALERT how you get pregnant when your boyfriend's real name is HELLBOY? Seems like a question only Jerry Springer could answer) and certainly for boys who love comics and action in general, enough to keep their butts in the seats!

Overall 3 out of 5 flames!


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