It's official, I now know how Pavlov's dogs felt. As soon as I hear Seacrest's voice and that catchy,pulsing theme music, I start to salivate and dance without knowledge.
Simon is back in his usual position due to lighting issues, according to Seacrest, I personally just think he's trying to stir up issues amongst the judges. Keep your wicked thoughts to yourself Ryan, you don't want to break up your meal ticket!
8:05 and we're already into the first singer:
Jasmine-poor girl, really rough start, we'll see what the judges say. I have a feeling it will be something to the effect of "wrong song choice dawg", but maybe I'll be surprised. Oh guess what, Randy thinks it was "pitchy", that's one shot of Yeager, by the end of the 2 hourse, I'll be crawling to my bedroom.
Anyone else wish that the Screen Actors Guild would just revoke The Rock's card? Enough with the bad remakes Dwayne!
YAAAY!!! It's Matt Giraud, I almost spit out my cheesy rice in delight! Viva La Vida, I'm kind of excited, literally 5 seconds in, I'm in love with him. One iff-y part, but I'll take a decent performance. Simon says horrible, I beg to differ, Simon goes on to criticize that says that Matt was trying to become a "pop star"...how dare he on American Idol!
Who in the world is Jeanine?! Whoever she is, she's coming up next, according to Seacrest, and if there's one thing I've learned it's that Seacrest doesn't lie, except to himself.
Jeanine-Beyonce called she wants her histrionics back. The dog across the street is howling and I'm pretty sure it's because of this chick. She's dressed like the missing memeber of the Pussycat Dolls and she's a mess. I would be laughing if this wasn't leading up to the top 12. But she has great legs...oy vey. Oh "pitchy" again...bottoms up! And she's complaining that she didn't get enough screen time in the previous weeks...boo hoo crybaby!
Oh it's time for Nick/Norman-the best reality tv character since Richard Hatch! Oh and it's "And I am telling you" from Dreamgirls, delightful! He actually is really entertaining, but man his Dad looks pissed, I hope that's not his shirt, oh there's a smile. He's certainly the most entertaining part the show so far. I'm actually voting for him, I think, not before Matt Giraud, of course. I found him less "atrocious" than Jeanine. I just want to see Simon's face if he were to win. "And I am telling you" has never sounded like this before
Oh and more passive-agressive homo-erotic banter
Is there really another 24 2-hour event?! Keifer must be making up for that jail-time last year.
Allison-this girl sounds like she can't even form a coherent sentence, unless Seacrest just makes her all hot and bothered. Her voice is pretty good though, like Amanda from last season, all Janis-Joplin-y. Definitely the best so far. I actually think I might like her even more than Alexis Grace! It's about time! Did everybody else get that she's 16!! I think they only said it 6 times.
Kris Allen-oh he's adorable, and Southern! Oh no he's singing Man in the Mirror, by Michael Jackson, I just felt my stomach lurch but that could just be the cheesy rice. I just clapped out loud, he's SSOOOO enjoyable!! I think they actually have the judges critiques on cards, and Cara's just got mixed up. I don't know what she's talking about, I like him, and so did SIMON, so shove it Cara!
Is anyone else absolutely done with the annoying JCPenney and Pizza Hut ads?! Time for a new ad campaign kids. As for Beverly Hills Chihuahua, I can't lie, I'll see it at some point, I mean it's talking dogs, the only thing more adorable than that right now is Kris Allen.
Meaghan: kinda weird stage presence, but decent voice. She's moving like a 6-year old who's just learned the twist. It also looks like she think she's more charming than she is. Paula says she's beautiful, hip, cool, interesting, relevant...blah blah blah. Simon likes her too. Oh crazy, Randy agrees with Simon. Someone remind me, are we having a talent competition or a beauty contest, all I've heard is "you're beautiful," "you're pretty" I still think her dancing was annoying.
Oh and Ryan just had a beautiful dig, "you should see me do the Cold Hearted Snake, Paula" no offense, but I'm sure she already has Ryan, she just doesn't remember it.
Matt Breitzke: AKA the Welder and he's singing Tonic's "If You Could Only See". I don't love this song on the radio and I like it less with Matt singing. It's pretty boring. Simon hated it too. Matt disagrees, but he shouldn't because it was kinda crap. Everyone likes Matt, just hates the performance, that's the conclusion.
"Single Mom" Jesse is back: I find her slightly annoying. Hmmm..Bette Davis eyes, by Kim Carnes, this could be good. Man I do love this song, but this performance is boring. Jesse, looks like you and your one-covered shoulder are going home. You're not beating out Allison for the girls' spot this week. It just gets downright annoying when the contestants go, "can I ask what you would want to see"? They want to see friggin' singers!
Did anyone else just see the "Nanerpus" Denny's commercial, it's genius! You can see it here.
There's also an R-rated version of Christian Bale V. Nanerpus, on youtube that's kind of fun too.
Kai-remember he's the guy who's taking care of his mom. "what's become of the broken-hearted" is his song, originally done by Jimmy Ruffin (elder brother of David Ruffin, lead singer of the Temptations, during the good years) I wikipedia-ed it. Cara say's PITCH problems, bottoms up! Paula says "pitch" too, down the hatch! Too safe, Kai, too safe.
Mishavonna (or something like that)- Drops of Jupiter, this could be disastrous. It's not disastrous, but I think just top 5 or 6 of the week which isn't enough this time Mishavonna. We'll see what the judges say. Paula wasn't excited (that's because she's a girl and not a boy that Paula can jump on top of). Simon felt cold. Randy thinks that she does sound like she's 50. Cara thinks she's too put-together. What all that translates to is, say BUH-BYE to Hollywood again, Misha!
oh guess who's coming up next...ADAM LAMBERT....FABULOOOOOUUUSSS!!!
He reminds us that he's been doing musical theater...say it ain't so!! He's going to screech Satisfaction. I hope I make it through this. He's wearing one, half-glove, does that mean it's a quarter glove? He literally sings through his nose so much that if he didn't have a mouth, I don't think it would be a problem. I'm blown away...by the Rainbow flashing lights in the background. Paula's on her feet because she's a huge fan of Cher-impersonators. She's speechless, except she goes on for a minute and a half too long. Sorry I just fell off the couch, Randy just compared him to looking like Robert Pattinson....WHAT?!! I need a moment...
My calls for this week
Allison for the girls
Kris for the boys
Matt as the runner-up
FINGERS CROSSED!! I'm hoping Adam hasn't put everyone under his vampire spell...