OSCARS!! It's time, FINALLY!!!


Alright, it's already 6:45, we're a little late, but we were just watching "In & Out" deemed an appropriate Oscar-night movie, since it really is all about the Oscars and was, in fact, inspired by Tom Hanks' real life acceptance speech for Philadelphia.

I've just watched Ryan Seacrest make a slight fool of himself by attempting to interview the children from "Slumdog Millionaire" and being slightly out of his element.  The first child he tried to interview clearly didn't speak English very well and yet he continued to ask him questions as the others were saying "He doesn't speak English".  It was almost like watching him try to high-five the blind guy.

I love John Legend.  I wonder why he's there, it makes me think there's going to be some performing going on that I don't know about, which is exciting

OY! Just glimpsed Robert Pattinson, if he's smart, he didn't bring a date.  
Michael Shannon, glad you brushed your hair.
Viola Davis is in Gold, I'm not a huge fan of gold on Oscar night, I think it's a bit overdone.
If Heidi Klum was wearing anymore jewelry I would think that Fred Leighton would have an APB out on all of his diamonds, but she still looks like a model, and she's rockin it.
Amy Adams does look amazing, but at times, it looks like she literally grew out of the Red Carpet.

Alright, enough of the Red Carpet, I'm sure the fashionistas will have plenty to say in the coming days, not to mention the People Magazine EXTRAVAGANZA that I'm sure will hit newsstands stat.  I think you kids are old enough to know who looked good (Taraji P. Henson, Amy Adams, Tina Fey, Natalie Portman, Hugh Jackman, of course), who looked tacky (Sophia Loren, Miley Cyrus, the guy in the leather suit who walked across the Twin Towers) and who looked downright bad (Tilda Swinton, for shame!) so let's get to the good stuff.


The opening number is genius.  Hugh Jackman is pretty much the most versatile human being on the planet, in my opinion.  He's Mr. Song-and-Dance, super-hot (see the shirtless Australia scene for further evidence) and he can rock the sideburns, full beard, and metal claws better than anyone I know.  I can't be the only one super-stoked for X-Men Origins this summer.  By the time he gets to his version of the Curious Case of Benjamin Button, which consists of him sticking his head through cardboard cutouts and ending as a baby, he had me at G'Day!

This year the Oscar's got an overhaul, and they kind of needed it.  While not everything was to my extreme satisfaction, I found very little to complain about.  The best improvement was the change in the presentation of the major acting categories.  Instead of having one or two people stand at the podium and show clips, the producers went with something far more personal, and I thought, far superior.  They had 5 past Oscar winners come out and do a little speech for each one of the nominees.  

My favorite had to be when Christopher Walken talked about Michael Shannon, it was kind of like looking into the future for Mr. Shannon, I would imagine, seeing as he has a very Walken-way about him.  Of course, a standout was Kevin Kline, whom I adore anyway (see his ridiculous IMDB list if you are in any doubt as to Kevin Kline's awesomeness, although he won for A Fish Called Wanda, I believe).  His quiet dignity, and low Hollywood profile, lent even more gravity to the introduction of Heath Ledger.  

As for Alan Arkin calling Philip Seymour Hoffman "Seymour Philip Hoffman" I think we all know who won't be getting invited onstage next year.

The musical number was decent.  I can't go as far as "good".  I guess I expected more from Baz Luhrman, and if I have to hear Beyonce sing "At Last" one more time I think I'll ask Merriam-Webster to put her face next to the word "overdone".  Seriously someone needs to reign her in and remind her that she is, in fact, NOT Etta James.  Just because you PLAY her in a movie doesn't mean you BECOME her.  Really Beyonce, your claim to fame is "Bootylicious" no matter how many times you try to make people forget.

The show moved along quite quickly, getting those pesky technical awards out of the way by doing them in multiples.  

A clear highlight was Ben Stiller's frighteningly dead-on Joaquin Phoenix interpretation.  How Natalie Portman managed to keep a straight-face was Oscar-worthy in itself.  As he wandered around stage seemingly transfixed by the screen behind him, all I could keep thinking was "God, I really hope Joaquin is just pulling a joke, hopefully Ben Stiller's in on it too".  If Joaquin proves to be the next Andy Kauffman, don't say I didn't warn you.

Although all of the speeches were great, and none of them rushed against the ticking clock as usual, I have to say my favorite moment, aside from Ledger's win (which let's face it, if it hadn't happened there would still be riots going on in the streets somewhere) was Kate Winslet's win.  As she started to thank her parents and said "Dad I know you're out there, whistle or something" only to hear a sonic-boom like whistle from the left side of the stage and see her waving in sheer joy, it was awesome.  She completely deserved to have an amazing year this year.  Move Over Meryl, I know I could be deported for such blasphemy, but since Sense and Sensibility, Winslet has proven her versatility and prowess on-screen in a way that may, one day show her to be an even better actress than the STREEP!  But what do I know

There were a few surprises but overall, nothing shocking.  Slumdog Millionaire walked away with an extremely impressive 8 awards, thank goodness.  I really don't know what I would have done if Benjamin Button would have won any of the majors.

For the full list of results, if you've somehow managed to avoid the media onslaught of results, say you've been locked away in Guantanamo and just got released today and are reading this blog, you can find the full list here:

AHHH...Until next year where the dresses will probably be worse, Adrian Brody's hair will probably reach to his back and Seacrest will only prove to be even more tanned and highlighted!


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