Man, this witty banter just never gets old...
I should do a quick recap of last night's show so that's what I'll do, while the montage rolls:
Matt-AWESOME-and more than appropriate to start things with "Let's Get It On"..mmmmhhmmm
Kris-pretty decent (enough to get through to the top 6 or 7 at least)
Scott-boring, not a good song choice
Megan-to quote Randy "train wreck"
Anoop-AWESOME to the power of rad
Michael-David Ruffin would have died a second time, if physically possible
Lil-GREAT despite what the judges say, she kicked the crap out of HEATWAVE
Adam-Suffice it to say I voted for him twice, despite previous weeks outcries
Danny-OY, so over him
Allison-Is she EVER bad...? the answer to that is no!!
also crayons, fake mustaches, and more comments from the not-so-disability-friendly Seacrest ("but how do you know they're pink?"-Ryan, you're dumb)
Oh and this show gets started with a clearly taped before Motown-medley. I like that they've given up on trying to move Scott around on stage during a live telecast. It gets increasingly worse, as these things always do and you know the choreographer has clearly been nipping at Paula's stash o'pills.
The Ford video is the same as all the Ford music videos, and Anoop is not featured nearly enough.
Ruben Studdard comes out, sweats all over the stage then leaves. How did he win again?!
Finally it's time to get down to business, after reminding the contestants how awesome it is to be a contestant (private jet with gold steps anyone? No wonder the economy is swirling down the flush hole...AIG was just trying to compete with American Idol) . Did anyone else realize that they edited the video so that Scott is shown yawning, I feel so bad for this guy!
Adam is safe
Matt is....WHAT?! THE BOTTOM 3...this is so bogus, and the perfect time to use my new catch-phras "F-ing Huey Lewis"!!
Kris is safe as well (despite Seacrest's harsh treatment of the gullible southern boy)
Michael-Bottom 3, and I can't disagree with that one
I enjoyed the talking horse commercial that was just on
Another break for a duet with Joss Stone and Smokey Robinson (aka the only man who's ever drunk from the Holy Grail). Seriously, since I'm on such a Back to the Future kick, I would say that Smokey, at age 69, has gone to the future and visited a rejuvenation clinic and made it back in time to mentor the AI contestants. This is better than most of the performances, certainly less sweaty than Ruben Studdard's although Smokey looks like he's ready to get a little handsy with Joss.
I just saw how much metallic material Paula is wearing...and it's a lot.
Oh yay!! The Angels & Demons tv spot!! I'm pretty excited about this one!! Tom Hanks, Ron Howard, and Ewan McGregor...summer movies are looking up!
Allison-SAFE this week
Anoop-please be safe, please be safe...He's SAFE!!
Danny-lemme guess...safe? Oh gee, I love winning this game!
Megan is SAFE?!?! What alternate universe am I living in?! Am I going to ride my unicorn to work tomorrow, good lord!
Scott is safe TOO?! Oh god, now it's Matt and Michael!!
THERE'S NO WAY THAT MATT SHOULD GO HOME THIS WEEK!!
And we still have ANOTHER medley to sit through. If Michael doesn't go home this week, out of those 2 choices, I'll definitely be riding my thestral to potions class tomorrow because this is not reality.
Stevie Wonder time- I hope that Ryan doesn't try to high 5 him after his performance. Paula can still move for real. I like that the Idols are pretty into this, and that Anoop knows all the words to "Superstition", and I hate that Kara seems to think it's a personal concert for her...boo Kara! Anyone else feel really bad for Matt and Michael who can't even enjoy this medley. Everyone is else hanging out having a good time, and it's like these 2 have dunces caps in the corner. They might as well be in cages. I think that's coming next season. For real, Stevie just shouted "I Love You Barack Obama" which was kind of amazing. I have to say I didn't see that coming, I bet Stevie didn't either (sorry, that was probably in poor taste). Do you think Obama just looked at Michelle, like "what did he say?" and then proceeded to rewind his TiVo five times? Because that's what we just did.
It's almost time to let the 2 losers out of their cages...
UGH...Matt and Michael-thank god it's Michael, sorry I don't see a judges save coming his way, unless he literally turns into David Ruffin before their eyes. I don't even know that Paula knows what she's supposed to be doing right now, because she's still just dancing, while Simon and Randy decide Michael's fate, like men should. Apparently, they haven't decided, that's ridiculous, maybe they would have if Paula hadn't thought she was auditioning for "So You Think You Can Dance". Michael's just happy to be going on tour. I don't blame him.
Well with only 4 weeks left for the judges to use their save, I sense some high drama coming in the next couple of weeks, and if there's anyone out there who hasn't been voting for Matt, Anoop or Chris, you might need to feel a little ashamed and probably a little unpatriotic too.
I'll leave you with that to think about, until next Tuesday...