Wednesday, March 11, 2009

TOP 13 WEEK!!


FINALLY, we've reached it, and Seacrest says it right off the bat, "The middle rounds are over!" If you listen really closely you can hear him say "Thank God".  This is the most ridiculous opening I've ever seen.  Clearly the judges are more important this season, and it looks like Paula is going for Barbarella glam tonight, good to see her back to herself.  Uh-oh you know when Simon starts saying the same thing as Paula it's going to be a long night, and long it shall be, with Michael Jackson being the theme for the night...UGH!  BOO!  and already 2 are going home tomorrow, this is so dumb!

Why oh WHY in the world are they picking Michael Jackson's songs as the theme?!  Am I wrong or is it the rule on this show that almost every single time someone auditions with a Michael Jackson song the Judges say "you shouldn't touch a Michael Jackson song"(with the exception of when Mr. David Cook sang Chris Cornell's version of Billie Jean, of course).

Lil Rounds-The Way You Make Me Feel.  On Par for Lil Rounds.  I mean she's good we get it.  She's not surprising though.  I guess it's good that she's consistent, but seriously, she sounds more like Fantasia this week to me.  There (sorry I got distracted, Randy is lying again, he said that she made the song new again.  No she didn't).  Oh boy, and Kara's already talking about "hearing her on the radio".  The producers have clearly told Lil to sound like Fantasia.  And Simon tells it like it is to boos. And he's right.  The song was boring and Lil, if I were you I would take Simon up on the "5 minutes with Lil" thing, because even at the best outcome, you're probably only going to get 15 minutes of fame.

Scott MacIntyre-Keeping the Faith-did you know that he's BLIND?!!?  thank you stupid useless montage of baby pictures. Will someone please get a hold of Scott's hair he looks like Art Garfunkel's illegitimate child.  Oh good, his piano is back!  He actually does sing better with the piano which is good because it means he'll probably make it to the Top 10 and tour.  He's not going to win this thing, I don't think.  That falsetto note was slightly "pitchy" in my opinion.  Sorry it had been like 20 minutes without a "pitchy" and I needed a drink.  Oh they're pimping out the song-writers again. Simon hates it.  I've already read the message boards, and this line is already a classic "It's alright to be artistic, just not on this show"  The secret to Paula has now been revealed, she's actually a 7 year old boy  who was probably born in 1945 because she claims that Simon gave her "scout's honor and they shook on it" I hope Skut Farkas doesn't get a hold of her.

Danny Gokey-PYT-oh it took a whole 2 bars to get Paula up on her feet.  I do like his voice, I can't lie, but man, that family montage was creepy.  That family sang like they were descendents of the 7 dwarves; they probably own a unicorn in their backyard too.  And now he's just riffing the whole thing.  He sounded really good, and he has as many pairs of glasses as Elton John, what's not to like?  Paula is breathless during her review which finally ends with her putting Danny into the finals!  A gem of advice from Randy "when you've got it you just got it"...really?  I just realized that the reason I once thought Kara said something important is because she PRETENDS that what she says is important.  She squints her eyes, and pounds the table like she actually has something to offer.

Michael Sarver- BLUE COLLAR MAN- You Are Not Alone-  That montage was delightful.  I now know that cowboy boots are "fancy shoes" and that indeed everyone who works on an oil rig is exactly what you would think of them as being.  I'm not impressed with this boring rendition of this song.  It's safe, but at least he sounds good on it.  I didn't hear "passion or heart" in that performance and Simon has the right of everything again when he says "I just wish we knew what you did for a living" considering that I've only been told he's an oil rigger 300 times.  They're 4 people in and apparently they're all in the top of this thing..no crap, there've only been 4 performances.  Kara says he brought his game, didn't she say that before.  

Jasmine Murray- lots of feel good family moments and that montage was too normal- "I'll Be There."  This is one of my favorite Michael Jackson songs, Jackson 5 in fact, I believe.  Where's Tito...couldn't they have gotten SOMEONE from the Jackson family to mentor this week, I highly doubt that Jermaine was doing anything.  LaToya's free I'm sure.  I like that Randy tries to toot his own horn "I had the pleasure of recording that remake with someone by the name of Mariah Carey" and no one in the audience cares.  You know he was looking for applause, but in the words of Christian Bale "Oh Goooood...For You" Randy.  NO ONE CARES.  That performance was generic.

Kris Allen- montage includes WIFEY...now we can put that question to rest.  Remember the Time His votes will probably drop in the next couple of weeks now that all of those 16 year olds know Kris can't take them to prom.  I myself am bummed to know that he's off the market.  But he IS super adorable and I would hate to see him voted off, just because I have to have someone to look forward too.  I like him much better with the guitar, but he's no David Cook.  He's a good guy, that's what I get from the judges panel, oh and adorable-sexy.  I love that Simon said "I don't think I would have brought the wife out yet" and boy was she PISSED!

Allison Irahita- Family, staged "home performance" standard montage.  But this girl can SANG!!!  that's for sure.  "Give it To Me"  I'm not familiar with it, but it's sounding awesome.  This girl is literally two different people.  DID YOU KNOW SHE'S 16....we get it Paula.  I'm sorry, Paula's eye lift is really bothering me.  Allison is like 2 different people, Singing Allison and Regular Allison.  Singing Allison I would probably buy a ticket to see.  Regular Allison I would try to avoid in the hallways of high school because she'd always be asking for a pen, or to copy your homework.  But seriously, one of the best performances of the night.

Anoop Desai-  He's super adorable oh, and Indian, in case you didn't know that yet, man are these montages helpful or what?!  I love Anoop's mom and dad, they're awesome.  He's doing "Beat It!" oy...this could go wrong quickly.  He has the Michael Jackson face from the Beat It video.  Vocally I don't think is nearly as terrible as everyone was making out, but it's a little rougher than usual.  Simon thinks it was horrible.  I think the fact that he called it "stupid" and a "really really bad impersonation" just made more people go to the phones.  I don't think he's going home like everyone else thinks.  He looks great and I didn't think it was "horrendous"

Jorge Nunez- montage for Jorge's broken family.  All of Puerto Rico is here for him.  Never Can Say Goodbye.  I'm not the only one who thinks he looks like the missing member of Menudo, right?!  I've seen photos of young Ricky Martin looking almost exactly the same, I'm pretty sure.  Another safe song.  Oh Randy says "pitch".  Kara doesn't feel any connection tonight, apparently because she's told both Anoop and Jorge the same thing.  

Oh and they just cut to Adam in the make-up chair...just where he's most comfortable!  Good to know he's coming up, I almost forgot about Adam Lambert!  (If you couldn't sense the sarcasm, you need to increase your practice of the FORCE)

Megan Joy Corkrey- Single Mama Drama montage-Rockin' Robin-Sweet Lord!  What is this.  The annoying dance is back, and I'm pretty sure there's a large purple dinosaur or a giant feathered bird waiting in the wings.  She just "CAWED".  UGH.  Apparently, "That's So Megan".  I like that Kara thinks that she's going to be around for a couple more weeks.  Paula says she "picked the right song!"  This was HORRENDOUS!!  Thank you Simon.  "What a STOOOOPID song choice".  Gordon Ramsey is awesome, that's what I brought away from this performance. 

Adam Lambert- That montage was all about Adam, just the way he likes it- Black & White-  I actually like this version.  Oh sorry, I just laughed for about 5 minutes, god bless DVR.  It just got to the point where he Yeowled in the middle and then the lyric "kicking dirt in my eye!"  which he punctuated with a ridiculous karate chop kick.  Oh they're fawning already.  He's the most talented person on the planet!!! Who knew, why are we even having a competition?!  He's in a different league.  He's the most current...really?!  Well I guess 80s glam rock is making a comeback.

Matt Giraud- Dad's crying montage-He's so Justin Timberlake I love it.  And he's awesome, thank goodness that the piano is back!! He's sounding AWESOME!!  This could have easily been a boring song, but I don't think it is.  This kid's got some chops, let's hear what the judges say.  Randy "pitch, Justin Timberlake" Kara "you're talented" Paula "you're amazing" Simon "meat & potatoes".  Finally, they all agree, it was solid!

Alexis Grace- another I'm a Mom-montage- Dirty Diana- I like this girl second to Allison.  She's kicking the crap out of this song, I have to say.  I wasn't crazy about the going up part at the very end, but the rest was pretty good.  The consensus from the panel, "over the top".  She's gonna get screwed because her number's so out of whack.

We're notified that "a change is gon' come" to Idol.  We'll see what that means in a few.
I have absolutely no idea who's going home this week.  I think Megan should, but she should be ok knowing that she gets to see her kid and that there are always birthday parties in need of some "rockin' robin".





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