Wednesday, April 29, 2009

And 4 will be left....


That's right, it's the results show for the Top 5, and the drama is kicking.  Or at least the drama in Seacrest's head.  The lights are glaring, the theme song is bouncing, and Seacrest says that 47 million votes were cast.  If only Randy, Kara, Paula, and Simon could judge our presidents.

Simon says it's the most open competition up until this point in any season.  That really just means that more than any other seasons the producers are going to pick the winner

Ford Video Time.  What was that song?!  Seriously, that was the DUMBEST video and the most wasteful use of slo-mo.

Man, this is the most boring, predictable show so far, that medley flew by and it was all just ok.  Can we just skip ahead and kick off 3 people tonight, so that next week is the final?  I'm sorry, is it just my hormones or is it this season? 

Finally Ryan mentions the summer tour!  It's about time!  Oh those wacky idols, having a food fight in their million dollar kitchen.  I just wonder who cleaned up.  Danny gets a gift, it's the clean up bill which is 6,000 bucks.  I think he should have to do community service and leave the show to work it off.

And it's time to dim the lights, so you know what that means:  someone comes closer to having their dreams torn away from them, which isn't so bad considering they've already sold their souls to the devil aka 19 Entertainment.

Simon looks completely bored and Adam is a great sport when asked about his comparison to Michael Phelps.  This is totally evil of Seacrest, he makes Adam choose his fate, much like Sophie had to make another difficult choice.

And HOLY MOLY! Matt, Kris, and Adam are the BOTTOM 3, did I literally just transport myself to another universe?!  Am I on Pluto which is no longer a planet?!  Kara and her mouth dropping open, she's got to stop that.  I swear if Kris goes home tonight, I might be done with this season.  Like I'll probably keep watching, but I don't think I'll care or be invested anymore. 

Natalie Cole is looking classy in her gold dress.  Man she looks fantastic.  And let's face it, after the debacle that was last week's "all-star" medley, things can only start looking up.  I'm actually a huge fan of this week's theme.  I only wish they had done it earlier, because I think it would have changed the competition a bit.  Whoa, that's a little pitchy dawg.  Something's gotta give, and I think it was her voice.  I like that they just sweep Natalie Cole off the stage like she's a piece of confetti.

Oh god, I still have to sit through Taylor Hicks.  Isn't there a waterboard somewhere close by?!  I thought torture was just outlawed.  

Well at least he only looks 10 years older, but he's wearing the vest to throw off the scent of being 40.  Alright, so he's really only 32, and this song has got a pretty decent bluesy feel, but I could walk into any good honky tonk and hear the same thing.  Seriously America, seriously, it's not like there were even any hanging chads in that vote!  No Chris Daughtry, but Taylor Hicks?!  Look at Simon's face.  He knows that every word coming out of Taylor's mouth is a bunch of B.S.  Simon knows the only reason Taylor won is because better contestants got eliminated.

Oh man, Kris is safe! Thank god!!! And another performance from Jamie Foxx this time.  This show has more padding than my training bra in 6th grade!
Did anyone else hear Simon go "My best friend Jamie Foxx".  Man, I can't lie, this performance kind of makes me miss Flo-Rida and his stripper back-ups.  At least Flo-Rida was singing/rapping with his own, un-automated voice.  Kara literally has one move and it involves shaking her arms like she's experiencing a small seizure.  Remember when Jamie Foxx was on In Living Color?!  What exactly has Jamie shared with Matt & Adam, and he seriously just gave himself his own product placement by saying he's got a movie out.  Come on man!  Sorry this is about the contestants, not you.  And besides, if The Soloist was really any good, it probably wouldn't have been delayed for six months and released in a dead-end weekend.  I'm not saying I won't rent it, but seriously, that was just a little shady.

oh this is nauseating, can we move on please?!  Adam is safe and Matt is going home.  I think this is a make-up for last week.  Too many people couldn't believe that Anoop went home instead of Matt, payback is a bi-yatch.  I mean I really liked him, and I'll cheer super loud for him at the concert, but it's just his time.  Wow Paula looks devastated.  I have to say, this may be the best exiting performance I've seen in a LONG time!  What a classy way to go out, good for him, see you on the road kiddo!

Next week is Rock & Roll, with Slash as the mentor!  That'll actually be worth watching and since Kris didn't go, I'll be back!








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