Tuesday, April 28, 2009

You Stay Classy American Idol


Well, everyone's looking good and it's Rat Pack night!  And the big surprise mentor is.....

WHOA!! Jamie Foxx!! I'm super psyched.  I didn't know that they'd be able to pull down someone of Jamie's caliber.  And now it's time for a recap of what the Rat Pack means to music.  And he loves everyone.  I don't really believe that, but we'll see.

Oh Crap!  Kris is going first, this is never good.  Speaking of which, is it just me, or does Michael Douglas in that "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" movie look like the missing member of the Rat Pack?

Oh, Kris is his number one and he's singing "Someday".  I'm looking forward to being blown away Jamie, it's something that hasn't happened in a few weeks.  That's a lie, every time this kid smiles, I'm blown away.  Have I said recently how dumb I think the idea of marriage before 30 is?!  I love that he's really just singing, not trying to do anything crazy; I hope he makes it to the finals! He's the only one who has truly surprised me every week.  
Randy thinks it's his best performance to date, with "mad nice vocals".
Kara and her boobs say that he's set the technical standard so high blah blah blah blah
Paula uses the word "impeccable".
Simon thinks it was "wet".  I'll leave the innuendos up to you.

P.S. a good suit really does make the man and tan does NOT make the man (Ryan take heed!)

Terminator Salvation looks pretty awesome.  I personally think that everyone should memorize Christian Bale's angry rant so that at different parts of the movie we can utter such now-classic phrases as "ooohh gooood for you" and "shut the f up Bruce" and the ultimate favorite "oh all da da da da in the background".  Go find it, learn it, love it, recite it.  It will seriously make every day of your life better.

OH BOY, Alison is no longer 16, she's 17!  I'm sure they'll still mention something about her being young.  Oh I LOVE this song!!  Since when is 16 too young to be in love?!  I think this is another lie they're telling kids.  It's all part of the conservative right's plan to institute abstinence an official policy of the U.S.  Anyway, Alison, as always is great.  Nothing surprising there, I don't think.
The judges literally fawn.  Except that Simon thinks that Alison doesn't believe she can win the competition.  He thinks she's in trouble.  Kara takes this moment to prove that she's a valid part of this show, which she isn't but she says "Simon, I love you, but you're CRAAAAZY" like she's about to do 3 snaps in a Z formation, please honey.

Oh man, Wolverine, Glee, a Yankees game, May is going to be awesome!

Matt Giraud- "My Funny Valentine".  Jamie Foxx almost didn't mentor enough, he was so blown away the first time, and then the producers told him he has to say SOMETHING.  So he calls Matt in.  Actually this might be Matt's week.  He sounds pretty good here.  But I do miss Anoop.  He looks ridiculously comfortable this week, much more so than in other weeks.  I believe that he was waiting for this week, he sounded better than he has in the competition I think.
Randy says it was "pitchy" and it didn't all quite come together.  6 out of 10.
Kara follows Randy's suit and Matt scoffs at her as he should.
Paula "excellent"
Simon "believable, authentic, absolutely brilliant".  Remind me why I'm not a judge on this thing.  Apparently all you need is two ears that work and a steady supply of either cardigans or low cut shirts, and of course, a season long subscription to Valium.

Oh God, it's Gokey time...potty break anyone?
Apparently Gokey's got a comfort zone, and it's back to the glasses this week.  I mean it's not bad, it's just Gokey.  No surprises, but the judges will tell him he's the second coming I'm sure.  Talk about "indulgent".  If Simon doesn't use that word I'll be very disappointed.  I hate that he already acts like he's a star.
Randy "you can have an album of songs like that, this is a singing competition"  Is there any way that we can legally change Randy's name to "Captain Obvious"?
Kara you had "swag"
Paula "stellar"
Simon "outstanding"  
Someone get the crown and roses ready, ugh.

Adam Lambert is going last and is looking dapper in white, and almost as tan as Seacrest, no easy feat.  

I have absolutely no idea what Paula is wearing, at all.  It looks like red napkins were added to the top.

Oh and they give him the stairs.  He's going to work those like a hooker on a holiday.  Chris says it exactly right, "he looks like Teen Angel in Grease".

This is gonna kick some ass.  I've literally grown to LOVE this kid in like 3 weeks.  Yeah, did you hear that noise, that was Adam dropping the hammer on Gokey.

Why is Randy on such bad crack tonight?!  Kara we all know why your mouth drops open...sleazy?!?!  Paula stumbles over her words and her ruffles and Simon loves him. 

Favorite line of the night "I like hearing Randy go on about you being theatrical, it's like complaining that a cow moos"-Simon, brilliant!

Would someone please revoke Seacrest's license to be a douchebag.  He's getting out of control.  I think either Kris or Alison is going home, but they were all pretty solid, I thought.









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