Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Buckle In-It's Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride


Oh man, I can't lie, I'm pretty nervous for tonight...
It's only gonna go 1 of 3 ways: good, bad or really really ugly.  Seacrest is in a hurry to remind us that at the end of tonight, there will only be 3.  I'm holding out hope that Paula is going to perform either "Forever Your Girl" or "Opposites Attract", either tune would be amazing.  

God why does Gokey insist on doing riffs on rock songs?  Does he not realize that it doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  I don't care what anybody says, Slash is still one of the greatest guitarists out there.  His solos are something to behold.  Seriously, Gokey sounds like he's at a gospel revival.

TICKETS GO ON SALE ON SATURDAY PEOPLE!!!

Wow, this is the first time that Danny's remarks are going pretty much unnoticed.  Adam says that he was pretty much equally excited about performing a Led Zeppelin song and his outfit, which I understand.  Danny goes on like a 4 minute rant about how "funny" that screech was and how he laughed the whole night.  Guess what Danny, so did the rest of the country, but it wasn't with you, it was at you.  I wonder how funny it would be if it got him kicked off tonight.  He seems weirdly confident for someone who clearly had the worst performance of the night.  If he doesn't leave, I'm definitely calling Season 8 conspiracy.

Paula is performing some ridiculous techno beat-based song called "I'm just here for the music".  What she really means is she's really just here for the paycheck.  There's no way that any of that was actually Paula's voice.  I'm pretty sure Britney Spears did the "singing" on that.  So what I really got out of that performance was the following:

A.  Paula is still ridiculously thin and able to be flipped at a moment's notice.

B.  If "pop" artists only have to make sure that they can lip synch, why bother holding a singing competition

C.  That ending was literally the most brain numbing thing I've seen since the "do do doos" last night.

D.  Paula, my childhood called and it wants it's innocence back.  With that performance, you have robbed me of my beautiful childhood memories, sitting in the back seat of a Plymouth van, listening to "Cold Hearted Snake" on my Sony Walkman.  Those were such good memories.

HOLY SHNIKES!!! No Doubt is performing "I'm Just a Girl"!!! God, this is bringing such good memories.  I can't actually recall how many times I've listened to Tragic Kingdom.  I'd like to think that my generation of girls was cooler than this generation of girls, but that's probably a lie.  I love Gwen Stefani and someday after I've had 2 kids, I hope to look like that.  Who am I kidding I hope to look like that in 6 months.  The whole band actually looks pretty much the same.  I feel like over the last couple of weeks, I'm 16 all over again.

After a recap of the former seasons Top 3's I can't help but wonder one thing:  HOW IN THE WORLD DID SYESHA MAKE IT TO THE TOP 3 LAST SEASON?!?!

The Top 3 are going to be announced in random order tonight.  One is going to safety now, and it's it's it's it's it's it's it's it's

KRIS -HOLY CRAP THIS JUST GOT AWESOME.  I flipped out so much, we have to rewind the DVR.  I'm literally shaking with excitement, and my heart is still pounding.  If any of you in the 06484 area code heard a sound that ALMOST sounded like Gokey, that would be me.  I'll be hoarse tomorrow.

Uh oh, I hope it's not going to be another big surprise tonight, since Chris Daughtry is going to be on.  Although I'm pretty sure that Adam is sticking around.  I hope I didn't just jinx anything.  Daughtry's up with "No Surprise".  Who's kidding who, this guy was always bigger than the Idol stage and he always deserved to be bigger than a slave to 19 Entertainment.  

Ugh, Kara's got her dominatrix dress on.  Please sit down, you didn't even care about Daughtry did you Kara?  I like that Daughtry kept sneaking up the 5 times platinum plaque, like "Hey remember when you kicked me off, well suck on this!"

Kris still can't believe that he's going to be around next week!  It's adorable.  Adam doesn't look too shocked.  He's heading home to San Diego for a FABULOOUUUSSS parade.

Danny and Allison and out of those 2, ALLISON IS GOING HOME?!?!?!  That's ridonculous.   Actually check that it's RI_DONC_U_LOUS.  Absolutely no way  that she should be going home.  Oh man, I'll miss her.  Watch I hope when she sings this, everyone in America understands what's just happened here.  Although I have to say, if the trade off was Kris for Allison, I have to admit, I would have wanted Mr. Allen in there.  But that shouldn't have been the trade-off.  Gokey looks awfully smug.  I hope he doesn't know something we don't know.  One of Allison's best weeks, and she goes?!  I don't get it.  It's a Boys Club for real now.  Good thing we've got all of those pesky XX genes out of the way, now we can make room for the TALENTED gender.  Hmmmm, this could actually be an interesting competition now.

Well until next week, when a "judges choice" song could doom someone to a broken dream

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