Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Can You Smell It? The End is Near


Alright, so I'm getting started late because we went dumpster diving at Yale, to no avail.  It was sad, but there was nothing good to be had, except thousands of dollars worth of clothes thrown away by children of unsuspecting parents.

It's Idol time now though!  Don't forget, the 3 finalists went home this week so we get to see them interacting with us plebians.  

Danny is up first, with Paula's choice of Terrance Trent D'Arby's "Dance Little Sister".  Don't worry if you don't know him, Wikipedia does the heavy lifting, he's this guy. Oh god, with the do doo doos again, this has got to stop.  I can't be the only one who thinks he's just yelling this song.  He's gyrating all over the place, grinding up on the judges table.  Randy thinks it was the way to jump it off, dope in fact.  Kara, for the first time this season, is complaining about gyrating.  Paula, who sounds an awful lot like Tracy Morgan's "Star Jackson" when she says "I'm a choreographer", doesn't mind the dancing.  Simon thinks it was essentially ok.  That's because Danny does the same thing every week.

Oh no, this is unfair, Randy and Kara are picking the song for Kris.  Interesting, "Apologize".  So Kris has got nail polish on his index finger, I wonder if he's dabbling in Adam's goody bag.  Oh and he's playing piano, I'm such a sucker!!  I think he sounds good, really good.  They'll probably say it wasn't original enough, but that's just because he's getting ready to bust up their perfect finale.  I'm right.  Kara and Paula both say that he should have taken more of a risk.  Holy Crap, Simon just called Kara out for picking the song and for Kris doing that song to the best of his abilities.

Simon is picking Adam's song, and holy shnikes, it's a good one "One" by U2.  Bless his heart, this is going to be AMAZING!! Man the producers LOVE this kid!  And he's quiet Adam with this one, building to the Robert Plant belt.  I can't say that I love this more than the original, I can't.  I mean it's U2 and Bono.  But Simon knows he picked the right song, he's literally gloating at the other judges.  I like that Randy said "you're one of the hottest 3" yeah no crap, Randy, there are only 3 left!  Kara, once again, shows she's an idiot.  Paula's just crowned him and Simon thinks if he isn't in the finals, it will be the biggest travesty of justice since Phil Spector's Hair.

Idol Gives Back update, with some sort of remix of Toto's Africa  (do yourself a favor and watch the original).  I won't even get started on the irony of the fact that ExxonMobil is giving out Mosquito nets to "give back" when the fact is that if they weren't busy pillaging the African country this village might have a better chance of fending for itself, oh colonization! 

Anywho, back to another travesty of justice, the fact that Gokey is still hanging out on this stage.  He's singing Joe Cocker's "You Are So Beautiful".  It's a shame he had to go and ruin this song for me.  This is the Barnes & Noble version of the song.  I mean I love Barnes & Noble, but you know what you're listening to when you're picking up your third copy of Pride & Prejudice.  Oh god and he's building to an R.Kelly "I Believe I can Fly" ending.  I'm over it.  Apparently it was "stunning" "amazing" "he can sing" it was breathtaking, etc.  Simon doesn't like the arrangement, but it's apparently a "vocal masterclass".  Really?!  I don't feel schooled.  I feel something, but not schooled.

Kris is up next, looking A-friggin-dorable.  He's doing "Heartless" by Kanye West.  I cannot lie, I'm nervous, nervous, nervous.  Oh man, I kind of love this already.  I will admit, this is the LAST song I would have ever thought he would pick.  But I can't wait to download this!!  Randy says that "was better than the original".  Kara says only 3 words the whole night that matter:  that Kris is "brave bold and fearless".  Paula makes yet another Simon joke, I guess they have to get them in before the season ends.  Simon says it was pretty much the performance he needed to keep him in, I agree.  

BTW Kris' numbers are 02. 05.  or 08.   02. 05. or 08!!!! 

Aerosmith is Adam's final song, "Cryin' " oh man, he's out of control on this one.  The judges fawn as equally out of control as the performance.  Simon thinks everyone should vote Adam into the final based on his talent.

Adam is 03, 06, or 09.

I don't even think I can handle tomorrow night, I just don't think I can.  I can't handle a Danny/Adam showdown because that means another week of Danny.  And I like both Kris and Adam, but when push comes to shove, Adam you're getting shoved for Kris, in my book, but try not to worry because I think you have some fans out there!

So until tomorrow night, Later Gators!




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