Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Movie Review Backlog Pt II


So it's been a while, a pretty long while, and I'm almost sufficiently recovered from American Idol. I'm bordering on going through withdrawls and toying with the idea of going tanning to get that special Ryan-glow just because I miss the color so much. As it stands, I've filled my newly found "free time" going to the movies. Shocking, I'm sure. I've seen too much to do full reviews on, so I'm going to try really really hard to write the world's shortest movie review for each one, literally one word. Some I will be forced to expand on, I'm sure because, let's face it, have I ever really lived up to the "long story short" phrase without the long story? But here I go:

Last House on the Left: Remake (adequate/adequately disturbing) (B-/3 out of 5)

I Love You Man: Entertaining (B+/4 out of 5)

Knowing: Surprising, in a good way (don't let Nicolas Cage turn you off) (B+/4 out of 5)

Duplicity: Forgettable (C+/ 2.5 out of 5)

Adventureland: Reminiscent/Nostalgic (B/3.5 out of 5)

Observe and Report: Odd (C +/2.5 out of 5)

17 Again: Typical (B -/3 out of 5)

X-Men 4: Overhyped (B-/3 out of 5, bordering on 2.5 but even five minutes of Ryan Reynolds, Hugh Jackman and Taylor Kitsch is worth the .5 to bump it up to acceptable)

Star Trek: Awesome (B+/A-/4.5 out of 5, and yes, I know I'm getting picky)

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past: Brain-numbing, but Michael Douglas is fun (C +/2.5 out of 5)

Terminator Salvation: Stylized Excitement. Great to look at with a story that doesn't suck. Don't listen to the naysayers, they're just jealous (B/ 3 out of 5)

Angels & Demons: Meh (like the sound you make when you're bored.) As my dad so eloquently said "Well they cut that book to pieces didn't they?" Yes dad, they did, but Dan Brown still manages to put food on his table every night, so it's not so bad for him. (C +/2.5 out of 5; I actually prefer the Da Vinci Code, at least for movies. Angels & Demons was the better book)

UP-Amazing, heartbreaking, joyous, hilarious all at the same time. (A; 4.5 out of 5)

Night at the Museum II-Funnier than it should be, and I like most of Amy Adams dialogue. I hope one time to be able to tell a man that he's had his cheaters on my chassy all night, but this is a family website so I won't go into further detail. (B/ 3.5 out of 5)

Drag Me to Hell: Get Dragged, you'll thank me for it. Fun, gross, and a ride that's worth the price of admission. (A -/4.0 out of 5)

The Hangover: If this is what drunk feels like, I'll probably never be sober again. If there was a word beyond "hysterical" I would find it and use it here. The story never drags, there's little to no wasted scenes and seriously, "Stu's Song" might become my anthem. Balls to the Wall (almost literally) fun. (A/A +/ 5 out of 5)

Land of the Lost: Blech (like the sound you make when you've tasted something that you thought might be growing mold but decided to put in your mouth anyway because you're a masochist.) Danny McBride is totally wasted in this movie, which is so sad because he's awesome. Will Ferrell seems to be doing a combination of his James Lipton and Craig the Spartan cheerleader impression the whole time. (D+/1.5 out of 5)

So if you're having trouble keeping track or just need to update your Netflix account, here's what you should rent/see and the order you should see it in:

The Hangover
UP
Star Trek
Drag Me to Hell
I Love You Man
Knowing
Adventureland
Night at the Museum II
Terminator Salvation
17 Again
X-Men 4
Last House on The Left
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Observe & Report
Angels & Demons
Duplicity
Land of the Lost











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