SYTYCD 9.1 NYC-Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle Wiggle...Dance!

Well, it's time for the first episode of the season for So You Think You Can Dance which means we get a bunch of fools who think they're HILARIOUS by going up onstage dressed as rodeo clowns, or some such nonsense, to skip around for 30 seconds before being stopped by the judges who always SAY "well that's just ridiculous" but who are secretly thinking "This makes for great television".  It doesn't, but it does fill time.  And to the credit of SYTYCD, they actually are less accommodating of the hacks than other shows, and more specifically, other Fox shows.
All that said, the auditions start out this year in New York City, which seems kind of like grabbing the brass ring first, but it has been proven that other cities are equally talented so I should get my geographist self in check.

In the judges seats it's Nigel, Mary and Tyce so let's get started.

Up first is Amelia Lowe, who apparently lives her life as a flapper.  There's an unseemly amount of backstory and Tyce immediately proclaims her "adorable" which makes me roll my eyes in annoyance.  My guard is already up, and, of course, she's dancing to Edith Piaf's "Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien".  The problem is she's actually really good.  And of course, she's Vegas-bound

Next is a Toshihiko Nakazawa, who's from Japan.  There's a bit of banter where Nigel speaks to him as if he's deaf instead of foreign and Toshihiko is apparently unfamiliar with the phrase "what's in store" (though he is very familiar with red hair dye) but thankfully that doesn't last too long and it's on to the dance. Despite his super velour matching red track suit, he has great "musicality" as the judges would and will say. His tricks are good, and it's a well thought out performance.  Oh man, the lost in translation aspect of this feedback is amazing. He's choreography bound, but I have a sneaking suspicion that's because Nigel didn't want to commit to the weekly language barrier unless it's really probable that there's the potential for growth.

Austin Freeman is a 21-year-old "wiggler" whose life's ambition is to be a celebrity.  Congratulations Austin, you've just hit that start button on that 15 minute timer.  Thankfully, this predictable, ridiculous geek has chosen the pervasive "Sexy and I Know It", which means he thinks he should be taken seriously.  As Tyce says "WHAT ARE YOU DOING-AH?"  He promises us next year he'll be back wiggling to Lady Gaga's "Born This Way". I'm marking my calendar as I type.

There's a montage of Vegas-bound contestants but we're apparently not supposed to care about them yet, as we have about 30 seconds total of each person.  Although I am intrigued by what seems to be a female breaker.

Shafeek Westbrook is really into flipping.  Can I go ahead and call him the Philly Flipper please?  His song choice is Faze Action's "Moving Cities", which starts out with a classical sound.  It's smart because the dichotomy of break dancing and classical music is always bound to catch people's attention.  Also he moves like a rubber band and his upper body strength is out of this world.  Several times I hear my mother's voice in my head saying "oh...that looks painful".  Then he tells the story of how that was a dance about his friend who had died on 9/11.  Of course he's going to Vegas.

As predicted, the choreography shows Toshihiko is not going to be showing much growth, and he takes himself out of the running.

Wait, is that a John Malkovich Siri commercial?!

First Emotional Story of The Night is what gets Day 2 auditions started.  Leo Reyes' mom tried to commit suicide and this has reminded him that life isn't forever.  I feel for this kid, but it just seems like an odd story to share with millions of viewers.  His contemporary routine to Drake's "Look What You've Done" is clearly about his mom, and he's going to Vegas folks, and then there's a tearful phone call home to her to tell of his dancing victory.

If you've recovered during the commercial break, congratulations, you've made it through your first-of-the-season emotional sandbagging.  They do pack a whallop but you have to try not to give in to the manipulation, don't forget, this is about the DANCING people!!

Along with the highs we must withstand the lows and to Cascada's "Evacuate The Dancefloor" (oh music supervisors, I love your humor) we get a montage of the terrible, ridiculous, awful and "filthy", which is confusing because sometimes on here, that's a loving phrase to a totally sick dance, but here it just means disgusting, as in, dude, no one wanted to see your package so clearly outlined in spandex shorts and a midriff-revealing top, you didn't seduce the audience, you induced almost vomiting.

Chehon Wespi-Tschopp is, like most things from Switzerland, sweet, appealing to look at, and full of European fashion sense.  He's primarily a ballet dancer, but he's strong and talented and to cut to the chase, if this guy doesn't make the Top 20, I'll eat the drying-up aloe vera plant that sits on my sidetable.  To Awolnation's "Sail", he demonstrates pretty amazing spotting ability on his turns, one-handed cartwheels and Baryshnikov-esque leaps.  Mary vaguely harasses him as she hugs him and then we're told that another 11 are going to Vegas, bringing the NYC total up to 38 going to Vegas.

Song list:

Non, Je Ne Regrette Rien-Edith Piaf
Sexy And I Know It-LMFAO
Moving Cities-Faze Action
Look What You've Done-Drake
Evacuate The Dancefloor-Cascada
When Love Takes Over-David Guetta f/Kelly Rowland


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