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Showing posts from May, 2009

The Yellow Brick Road Runs Out-AKA Someone gets a Golden Idol

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So it's here, the end, the finale, the last laugh, the most dramatic night in television.  Alright, well, really, it's just the last night of American Idol.  It's not like the apocalypse is coming tomorrow, despite what Seacrest has to say.  Oh, I'm going to miss you theme song.  Why are there so many stars in the audience, don't these people have something better to do?!  Oh who am I kidding, if I could pull a ticket to the finale, I totally would.

Oh God, Randy looks like some horrendous combination of Kanye West and Farnsworth Bentley and there's a montage for every judge I guess.  Randy gets "you for me for you"; Kara gets "sweetie, honey"; Paula literally just babbles out SAT words the entire time; finally, Simon gets a lot of "sorry, what'd you say" which is dumb because everyone knows he's the judge that matters the most.  
The boys are all in white, which is kinda weird and kinda awesome.  Oh someone in audio is ge…

GLEE!!!

I know it's just the first episode, but this looks extremely promising.  I don't think a show has made me this happy and fulfilled all of my expectations in a really really really long time.  I mean I loved Chuck and Pushing Daisies almost immediately too, although that doesn't bode very well for my choices, considering that Pushing Daisies has been cancelled and Chuck is just barely surviving with 13 episodes for next season.

So PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, I have no problem doing shameless plugs, please people, help this show survive!  Remember when Freaks and Geeks got cancelled?  This is a musical freaks and geeks and don't let Glee be another speed bump in the network television road to supremacy.  It does not deserve to get run over.  Plus, it's got Jane Lynch!! Come on people, catch at least the first episode, and if you're not ready to see all of the episodes as soon as Matthew Morrison says "from the top" you can call me a liar and never talk to me…

I AM the next American Idol or something like that

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OH MAN!!! It's the last performance show, and I'm actually sad about that.  I have no idea what I will do with so much free time on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.  I think next week will feel similar to having a finger cut off, you know that phantom-limb syndrome where you feel like something should be there, but it's just not...so sad.

Ryan sets it up for us: acoustic rock v. glam rock, Conway v. California.  He stops just short of singing "I'm a little bit country/I'm a little bit rock & roll".
WHOA!  Paula's electric green is OUT OF CONTROL and someone's been dipping into Adam's self-tanner too.  Kris apparently won the coin toss, I'm not sure if there was a referee involved.
Three Songs: Oh god, Kara co-wrote one of the songs > 
1. Their favorite performance from this season 2. A song chosen by Simon Fuller 3. The "winner's" song, co-written by the 4th, most unnecessary judge.  
Seriously, could I love the Snapple …

Alterna-Lost 2

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Graduation Jack:

This is actually how the series ends. We find out that Jack is actually the Valedictorian of his high school class (of course, because who better to play an 18 year old than a 38 year old). Kate, Sayid, Hurley, Charlie, Claire, Sawyer, we eventually find out they’re all his classmates. Ben is one of his teachers and Locke is the principal.
Jack is an amateur author and the camera zooms in on him frantically typing away at the computer. The last sentence we see typed is “Juliet slammed the rock down as hard as she could until the earth shook and a blinding white light annihilated the godforsaken island”. He’s clearly very pleased with his work.

Next, we see Ben hand back the story, which was supposed to be Jack’s final assignment with a dismal B- at the top of it. A disheartened Jack goes home and burns the story, only to have to write his Valedictorian speech. As he’s giving the speech, the camera zooms on each of the classmates. Hurly is pulling a candy bar from his…

Alterna-LOST aka the thing that will keep me blogging after American Idol Rides into the Sunset

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I've become so engrossed this season with LOST that I figured, in the next 7 months I would go back and watch all of the seasons and try to put this thing together, to add my thoughts to the millions and bajillions that are already out there, because, let's face it, my opinions are more important than others, or at least that's what I think, and probably my mom, who also reads this, but doesn't watch LOST.



With that knowledge, what I've also been asked/thought would be fun to do, is make up LOST stories that go with odd photos of LOST and LOST castmembers. I'm calling my version, Alterna-LOST, because basically, as crazy as the REAL series is, this one is going to be even more ridiculous.

If you want to participate in this, please feel free to leave a photo (leaving it as a comment for me would probably make the most sense, plus it would make me feel special since I LOVE comments) for me to make up a story about. Preferrably, they would at least start out as …

American Idol gets Lost

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I will confess right now.  As die hard of an American Idol fan as I am, these results shows tend to stink more than a port-a-potty filled with Taco Bell on a 90 degree day.  I'm watching the playback on DVR as we speak, without all of those nasty little commercials.  I will say though, that I watched the last 10 minutes live, pausing Lost.  The noise that came out of me when the results were read is something that probably should not come from a human being.  It lasted a good 20 seconds, without interruption, and let's just say, it might even leave the "Gokey shriek", as I've dubbed it, in the dust.  I apologize to anyone in the area who might have thought, after hearing this sound, that a pack of homeless cats had met their demise, or that there was a child who had just met Freddy Kreuger.  But the fact of the matter is that, what happened in the last five minutes of Idol was something that I could have only dared to dream of.  Thank You, American Idol, for pro…

Can You Smell It? The End is Near

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Alright, so I'm getting started late because we went dumpster diving at Yale, to no avail.  It was sad, but there was nothing good to be had, except thousands of dollars worth of clothes thrown away by children of unsuspecting parents.

It's Idol time now though!  Don't forget, the 3 finalists went home this week so we get to see them interacting with us plebians.  
Danny is up first, with Paula's choice of Terrance Trent D'Arby's "Dance Little Sister".  Don't worry if you don't know him, Wikipedia does the heavy lifting, he's this guy. Oh god, with the do doo doos again, this has got to stop.  I can't be the only one who thinks he's just yelling this song.  He's gyrating all over the place, grinding up on the judges table.  Randy thinks it was the way to jump it off, dope in fact.  Kara, for the first time this season, is complaining about gyrating.  Paula, who sounds an awful lot like Tracy Morgan's "Star Jackson&quo…

Best Thing I Never Knew About

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I can't be the only one in the world who's never heard of "ghost riding".  And it has absolutely nothing to do with Nicolas Cage or any other comic book adaptations.  Apparently it's been a craze in the Bay Area for about three years now.  It has it's own Wikipedia page, a catchy song, and a music video, not to mention Youtube wannabe's galore...HOW DID I MISS THIS?!?!  All you have to do to ghost ride is follow the lyrics of said catchy song : "pull up hop out all in one motion dancin on the hood while the car's still rollin".  That's right, it's the evolution of the Chinese Fire Drill.  Only this time instead of switching cars, you leave the car in motion and dance next to, or on top of the car.  Normally I would frown upon something sounding remotely this dumb, but for some reason, I'm pretty ready to go find a parking lot and see how long I can do the running man beside my corolla.  If I'm more daring, I would try the Ro…

Buckle In-It's Gonna Be A Bumpy Ride

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Oh man, I can't lie, I'm pretty nervous for tonight...
It's only gonna go 1 of 3 ways: good, bad or really really ugly.  Seacrest is in a hurry to remind us that at the end of tonight, there will only be 3.  I'm holding out hope that Paula is going to perform either "Forever Your Girl" or "Opposites Attract", either tune would be amazing.  
God why does Gokey insist on doing riffs on rock songs?  Does he not realize that it doesn't make any sense whatsoever.  I don't care what anybody says, Slash is still one of the greatest guitarists out there.  His solos are something to behold.  Seriously, Gokey sounds like he's at a gospel revival.
TICKETS GO ON SALE ON SATURDAY PEOPLE!!!
Wow, this is the first time that Danny's remarks are going pretty much unnoticed.  Adam says that he was pretty much equally excited about performing a Led Zeppelin song and his outfit, which I understand.  Danny goes on like a 4 minute rant about how "fu…

To Rock or Not To Rock aka the Show Must Go On

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So Seacrest has some big news for us at the beginning:   the foursome is splitting up and, besides their solos, they'll perform 2 duets.  Does anyone else find Ryan's explanation of the Idol stage mishaps boring?!

So who Kara is pretending to be a rockstar with her studded leather, and Adam?!  Fugheddaboutit!  He's leathered and glammed out for real.
Slash, I'm not gonna lie, I forgot how great he is.  I mean if you listen to the first 10 seconds of "Sweet Child O' Mine" it's hard to deny, but sometimes it's easy to get lost in the hair.
Adam's singing "Whole Lotta Love".  I'm not shocked at all.  He actually has a very Robert Plant vibe about him.  I'm actually sad that he's wearing a full shirt.  Robert would never have done that!  But then again this is a family show, I'm sure partial nudity is frowned upon.  Seriously, is there anyone out there who heard last week that it was going to be "rock night" an…