Showing posts from April, 2009

And 4 will be left....

That's right, it's the results show for the Top 5, and the drama is kicking.  Or at least the drama in Seacrest's head.  The lights are glaring, the theme song is bouncing, and Seacrest says that 47 million votes were cast.  If only Randy, Kara, Paula, and Simon could judge our presidents.

Simon says it's the most open competition up until this point in any season.  That really just means that more than any other seasons the producers are going to pick the winner
Ford Video Time.  What was that song?!  Seriously, that was the DUMBEST video and the most wasteful use of slo-mo.
Man, this is the most boring, predictable show so far, that medley flew by and it was all just ok.  Can we just skip ahead and kick off 3 people tonight, so that next week is the final?  I'm sorry, is it just my hormones or is it this season? 
Finally Ryan mentions the summer tour!  It's about time!  Oh those wacky idols, having a food fight in their million dollar kitchen.  I just wonder…

You Stay Classy American Idol

Well, everyone's looking good and it's Rat Pack night!  And the big surprise mentor is.....

WHOA!! Jamie Foxx!! I'm super psyched.  I didn't know that they'd be able to pull down someone of Jamie's caliber.  And now it's time for a recap of what the Rat Pack means to music.  And he loves everyone.  I don't really believe that, but we'll see.
Oh Crap!  Kris is going first, this is never good.  Speaking of which, is it just me, or does Michael Douglas in that "Ghosts of Girlfriends Past" movie look like the missing member of the Rat Pack?
Oh, Kris is his number one and he's singing "Someday".  I'm looking forward to being blown away Jamie, it's something that hasn't happened in a few weeks.  That's a lie, every time this kid smiles, I'm blown away.  Have I said recently how dumb I think the idea of marriage before 30 is?!  I love that he's really just singing, not trying to do anything crazy; I hope he …

Double Elimination-the one where two people leave aka FINALLY

Seacrest is looking dapper in his suit, as well as looking very George Hamil-TAN.  David Archuleta is back as well.  45 million votes were cast?!  Really?!  And Seacreast says that just goes to show how talented this year's group is, I think he's lying

Paula Abdul is choreographing this group dance.  I actually wish that Paula would choreograph all of these things.  Remember when Paula was awesome, like in 1989, like when Forever Your Girl was my favorite song in the world.  Danny thinks he's a good dancer, that makes one person on the entire planet earth that thinks that, only billions more to convince.
Oh man, this group dance is totally cheesetastic, and the lip synching is out of control.  I actually think they had Justin Timberlake sing Matt's part.  That was the most enjoyable one they've done all season for real!  Oh I wish Paula would just dance instead of judging.  And thank goodness we only had to endure Danny coasting down the rails of the soul train on…

Oh God, It's Disco week-Idol Top 7 (again)

Hey remember when Matt was saved last week?  It's top 7 again and I feel like everything is moving very fast this week, so be prepared to keep up.

Lil's up first with "I'm Every Woman" also known as "that other song that Whitney Houston's covered".  So this is really a Whitney song, not a Chaka Kahn song as lying Seacrest would have us believe and she's not stunning.  It was generic and I think Simon will say so.  Randy says she can "definitely sing" (no crap, she made the top 7) and Kara says it "wasn't worth the wait".  More talk about artists and man, Lil looks like a lost puppy.  Paula says something about "inner goddess" (I'm already lost).  Simon says "it's the last week".  And there's nothing left to say.  Lil's biggest problem is that she's turned into Fantasia.  Also, I call "disco week fail" seeing as that wasn't really a "disco" song.  In fact, acc…

Royale Results with Cheese-Yeah it's that show again

Top 7 is about to become top 6, and after one of the most dramatic intros ever, let's get started.  Take it away Seacrest...

I'm not sure how tempting Miley Cyrus is, but at least Jennifer Hudson is here.  UGH...the cheesiest Ford music video yet.  And no fancy intro, wow, they really must be watching their time.  Watch your step Anoop.  I can't believe they're doing "Maniac" although I have to say Kris totally made this intro worth it.  Actually it's decent, I was prepared for this to be total crap, but it's kind of awesome and Adam just yeowled, so you know it's good!  Seriously, when Kris sang to Kara, she and Paula turned into a pair of 13 year old girls.
Now I want to watch Flashdance...actually I want to watch a double feature of Flashdance and Footloose, because let's face it, the only reason Flashdance got that song is because Footloose was too busy Kenny Loggins-it-up.
Oh no, only a month of Idol left?!?!?  The only good news is that…

Top 7-This is Quentin's House AKA Inglorious Singers

Yes, you read that correctly.  Quentin Tarantino, an already legendary director after only 6 films, and let's face it, he really has already earned that legendary status, is going to be the guest "mentor" tonight, and I don't even care that people question his ability to "mentor".  He's awesome, he loves the show, I hope it rocks.

These intros are ridiculous and Paula looks like she's gone to the Joan Rivers school of hocking crap jewelry.  Man that thing, the jewelry equivalent of a face-hugger, is hideous.
I LOVE this Quentin Tarantino intro by the way.  Is anyone else super psyched for "Inglorious Basterds"?  I know I am.  I'm thinking he's an Adam fan or an Allison fan. 
Allison- "I Don't Want to Miss a Thing"- oh man, I'm really tired of this song, but I'm sure I can stand it from her.  Oh and Fox sprung for the full orchestra, nice move.  It's another rough outfit night for Allison, not that I have a…

Death of a Dream-the results show

Someone's dream is about to die, but Seacrest is at his tannest and he's ready to roll.  Randy Jackson is wearing Cliff Huxtable's cardigan that's been embroidered.  Kara cheers for herself; Paula is smiling absently, wearing Bette Davis' gloves; and Simon is just getting ready to cash another paycheck.  There's a creepy cropped photo of Simon and Paula.

OH MAN!  Is it ridiculous that I'm excited that Frankie Avalon showed up onstage.  I kind of yelped a bit.  Paula is swaying suggestively, despite the face that Frankie seemed to have a bit of trouble with the steps (those hips can give you hell huh?) Frankie and Ryan share the same tan.
Oh, the song & dance!! I just realized that pretty much the boys are the only ones that really matter this season.  Oh boy, "Can't Get You Out of My Head".  I hated this song when it was produced by professionals.  Well I knew that one good week of song and dance was about all we were gonna get, so since …

American Idol-Born with the Dream

Oh no special opening for the judges tonight...instead we're treated to the judges baby pictures. Randy's is boring and predictable, Kara's is whiny and crying, Paula's looks far older than she probably was at the time, and Simon's is by far the most awesome, although Ryan's buckteeth are a thing of beauty as well. It really is amazing what a baby picture says about a person,

Danny Gokey's up first "Stand By Me"-is it just me or is Danny's family WAAAAYYYY too huggy, touchy, feely. Seriously, I think his aunt is the Easter Bunny and his uncle is a Leprechaun. I hate this disco version of the song. But it's Gokey so the judges will love it. Is that John Travolta in the background in a white suit?!?! Oh no, sorry I must have taken some of Paula's happy pills. Randy reminds the viewers that this is a vocal talent show...Kara comments that he "killed it", Paula is showing off her technical knowledge, and drooling and Simo…

ONE OF THEM COULD LOSE IT ALL (or at least get a record deal in 6 months)

It's the most dramatic results show to date!  At least that's what they'd have you believe if you watched the beginning of this show, it was looking like the pre-show of the NCAA Final Four tournament, when in reality there should be just a single elimination (of Megan) and be done with it in 5 minutes.

I like that Paula is ALWAYS the one going on about "knowing who you are"; irony is a fantastic thing.  Simon thinks Anoop, Matt and Megan should be worried...Mr. Cowell, have you been reading my blog?!  Or reading my MIND?!  
OH NO THEY'RE DOING DON'T STOP BELIEVING, this could ruin my night.  But this song is so Friggin' AWESOME that they can't ruin it even stupid puppet little miss muffet Megan tries.  It was actually the best song they've done this season.  Thank you Journey, and actually I think Adam could totally sing Steve Perry, maybe better than Steve Perry.
Oh it's "typical Idol Week" montage again.  Oh boo!  They're…